There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
