i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
