life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
