:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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