So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Randomize
