she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
