i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
