At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
