Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
