I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize