Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
