Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Panties = found
Randomize
