It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
