I skipped work to stalk him.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
