Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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