Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize