We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
