I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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