last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize