Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
