The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
