is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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