Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
