Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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