why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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