..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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