For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize