I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
