farters have to be the big spoon...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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