yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You took a bar mat shot.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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