how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize