My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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