Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
