marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I wish my penis had an off switch
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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