i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You don't make any sense
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