maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
