john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
