Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize