I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
