apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
