Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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