I want to walk on stilts...naked
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
