Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
