We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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