Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
