dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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