I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
