do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She bit a glass in half.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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