Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
