It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
