if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
