I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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