I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
