so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
