I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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