I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
